I am not a great fan of internet dating............. but it appears to be a common way to met someone these days and, finding myself still not so young and single, I decided that I didn't have much to lose. Or did I?
I signed up to one of the popular dating sites, one I had used before, with little success. This time around what I discovered is that being that much older I get far less views and emails and the one's I do get are from people who seemed to be clutching at straws. People who do not meet my criteria at all, regarding age, common interest or location.
In the past if not interested I would politely reply and just explain that I did not think we were a good match. I thought it was the best thing to do, as I knew myself how it felt when you had taken the time to contact someone only to get no response. I stopped doing that when on one occasion I received an an abusive email back, from someone who was obviously not used to rejection Hence now if I am not interested I just press the delete button.
You would think not getting a reply would spell it out for someone. But some unfortunate souls will clearly assume you didn't get the first two emails they sent and so send you a dozen more. When that happens its time to press the block button.
One thing I have learnt about internet dating is it's very much dog eat dog. Most of what people write on their profiles is a pile of gob shit, so take it with a pinch of salt. You can't wear your heart on your sleeve or be sensitive to rejection and you must have the patience of a saint. You have to waste a lot of time emailing back and forth, and just as you think you have built up a good rapport with someone, they disappear on you with no explanation.
Then if you do get the urge to finally meet up, the person looks 10 years older than their picture, and whereas they may be chatty and humorous in their emails, in the flesh trying to make conversation with them can be as painful as pulling your finger nails out one by one with pliers. Best bit of advice I can give anyone who is meeting someone for the first time, make sure the first date is short, just meet up for a coffee. You can always extend if it's going well Don't make the mistake of going out for a meal. You only need about 10 minutes to establish if you are right for each other. No point spending any longer in someone's company if they are not your cup of tea (see reference to finger nail pulling above).
I approach most things in life with the attitude, 'hope for the best, but prepare for the worst'. I use this approach when about to meet up with someone for the first time. I don't get excited, I don't spend a lot of time getting ready, just make myself presentable. That way if sparks don't fly, which most of the time they won't, I don't feel disappointed or that I've just wasted 2 hours of my life.
Good luck if you ever take the plunge. It's certainly not for the faint hearted.
I signed up to one of the popular dating sites, one I had used before, with little success. This time around what I discovered is that being that much older I get far less views and emails and the one's I do get are from people who seemed to be clutching at straws. People who do not meet my criteria at all, regarding age, common interest or location.
In the past if not interested I would politely reply and just explain that I did not think we were a good match. I thought it was the best thing to do, as I knew myself how it felt when you had taken the time to contact someone only to get no response. I stopped doing that when on one occasion I received an an abusive email back, from someone who was obviously not used to rejection Hence now if I am not interested I just press the delete button.
You would think not getting a reply would spell it out for someone. But some unfortunate souls will clearly assume you didn't get the first two emails they sent and so send you a dozen more. When that happens its time to press the block button.
One thing I have learnt about internet dating is it's very much dog eat dog. Most of what people write on their profiles is a pile of gob shit, so take it with a pinch of salt. You can't wear your heart on your sleeve or be sensitive to rejection and you must have the patience of a saint. You have to waste a lot of time emailing back and forth, and just as you think you have built up a good rapport with someone, they disappear on you with no explanation.
Then if you do get the urge to finally meet up, the person looks 10 years older than their picture, and whereas they may be chatty and humorous in their emails, in the flesh trying to make conversation with them can be as painful as pulling your finger nails out one by one with pliers. Best bit of advice I can give anyone who is meeting someone for the first time, make sure the first date is short, just meet up for a coffee. You can always extend if it's going well Don't make the mistake of going out for a meal. You only need about 10 minutes to establish if you are right for each other. No point spending any longer in someone's company if they are not your cup of tea (see reference to finger nail pulling above).
I approach most things in life with the attitude, 'hope for the best, but prepare for the worst'. I use this approach when about to meet up with someone for the first time. I don't get excited, I don't spend a lot of time getting ready, just make myself presentable. That way if sparks don't fly, which most of the time they won't, I don't feel disappointed or that I've just wasted 2 hours of my life.
Good luck if you ever take the plunge. It's certainly not for the faint hearted.
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ReplyDeleteLife is not for the feint hearted either. Most dating sites are a complete con anyway and the best way to meet someone is to get out there and do something you enjoy doing. You'll soon find someone who intrigues you but you sure as fuck won't find anyone on the Internet!
ReplyDelete